Joey Malvagita

godless. caffeinated. zombie

Denver, CO

Just watched this giant fish take shit. #wednesday

I hate feeding trolls.

But I love poking bears.

These protein bars are like something out of a scifi movie.

Press formed grainy chocolate flavored vitamin paste.


Couples that sit next to each other in booths at restaurants are gross and stupid.

so then the dermatologist says, in an insolent tone, “yeah, that’s because rheumatologists are fuckin NERDS”

It never ceases to amaze me how many men, who have to wear a suit for a living, don’t know how to wear a suit.

I just started my ello account.

I love having new things to ignore.

add me. or just send me dirty pics. whatever. #saturday

20ys ago I probably asked the question, “who the fuck mows their lawn at 8am on a Saturday?”

Today I answered that question.

You seriously left the house wearing a black turtle neck tucked into black relaxed fit jeans? Do you want a bolo tie to complete the look?

Your phone has the key tones turned on and the volume is all the way up.